November is Family Violence Prevention Month, a time to shine a light on one of the most pervasive issues in our communities and to remind ourselves that we all have a role to play.
Domestic abuse doesn’t just happen behind closed doors; its impact ripples through families, workplaces, and neighbourhoods. But there is hope, and it starts with something simple: showing up.
Calgary Realtor Jessica Comeau never imagined she’d become a lifeline for someone experiencing domestic abuse.
With no personal experience of violence, she didn’t anticipate how deeply a new friendship would change her life. What began as casual connection quickly grew into a bond she describes as “like sisters.”
“I saw how much it hurt her, how it affected her day-to-day life, how she processed things. It was heartbreaking.”
Jessica admired her friend’s strength and resilience, and stepping up as a supporter felt natural.
“It was a no-brainer to support her. Whatever she needed, whether that was help or just a listening ear, I was there.”
Jessica was also facing her own challenge: an eating disorder. So together, they made a pact to seek healing side by side. They researched resources, supported each other’s goals, and ultimately found Sagesse’s peer support program. That choice changed everything.
“It was incredibly helpful,” Jessica says. “Not just for her, but for me too. Supporting someone through trauma is hard. There were times I worried that I said something wrong, or that I wasn’t doing enough.”
Through ups and downs in their relationship, Jessica learned that support isn’t about fixing anything, it’s about listening, believing and showing up… especially when it’s hard.
“Put yourself in their shoes. Be gentle. Don’t go in with answers, just let them know you’re there and more than anything else, you believe them.”
Jessica also discovered the power of asking questions and listening with empathy:
“You have to start with listening and then asking questions can be almost as important. You don’t know how to vocalize what you’ve been through, so a question, any question, can help. Sometimes you don’t need to understand the question to ask them.”
These lessons are at the heart of REAL Talk, Sagesse’s program designed to help everyday people recognize abuse, respond with empathy and refer to resources. REAL Talk teaches that you don’t need to be an expert, you just need to be willing to listen, ask, and believe.
Domestic abuse rates in are rising, with the latest data from Statistics Canada showing a 19 percent increase in police-reported family violence for women and girls between 2014 and 2022, and 21 percent for men and boys. During the same period, intimate partner sexual assault increased 163 percent, intimate partner physical assault increased 14 percent and indecent or harassing communications increased 38 percent.
These aren’t just numbers; they are a reality for thousands of people. But there is hope, and it starts with us.
At Sagesse, we believe prevention begins with connection to our support systems. CEO Andrea Silverstone explains:
“When someone’s facing abuse, it’s often the people closest to them, like their friends, family and coworkers, who they tell first. You don’t have to be a counsellor or expert to help. Just being there, listening without judgment and letting them know they’re not alone can make all the difference. Sometimes, the simple act of showing up is what helps someone find their way to safety.”
About 80 percent of the time, survivors turn to someone they trust first, not a professional. And just one positive conversation is likely to lead someone to seek further help.
That means friends, family, and peers play a critical role in helping survivors access resources and rebuild their lives. Andrea emphasizes:
“Domestic abuse thrives in silence. When informal supporters step in, they break that silence. They create safety, trust and hope. That’s prevention in action.”
Jessica’s story is proof of that. Her willingness to listen and learn gave her friend the courage to heal and gave Jessica a sense of purpose.
“It is such a privilege to see someone you love flourish and heal before your eyes and to live in their healing with them.”
You don’t need to be an expert to make a difference. Support starts with simple, human actions: recognizing abuse, responding with empathy, asking questions and listening. In other words, REAL Talk.
This Family Violence Prevention Month, commit to being that lifeline. Sign up for REAL Talk training and join the movement to end domestic abuse.
👉 Start your REAL Talk journey at sagesse.org/realtalk.
